Donkeys, Dan & Death Doulas
by Leslie Shalduha
In my house, preparing to leave Dan
In secret
He not knowing that my daughter and I are leaving
Next door at Candy & Slim’s
I see two donkeys
Hitched to carts
Standing and waiting for their riders
As I watch, the donkeys get spooked
One takes off like a bat out of hell
Up the road
Carts bouncing crazily
With traffic zooming by
As it zigs and zags
A long cord between animal and cart
Crosses both lanes of traffic
And a car is rodeoed
Causing the destruction of donkey and cart
Donkey goes one way, cart the other
I panic, screaming
I run next door begging for help
Asking Slim
“Who does the donkey belong to”
Angela is there, the death doula
She gathers her tools
And steps outside, where she blesses a
Hamburger bun
As if it were the donkey
Picking at it and removing bits of debris
I finally shake the confusion and say
“No, no, he is up there, on the road”
In the meantime, I go back in the house
Dan is on the bed, nude
I lay beside him and he reaches for me
He shows me two paychecks for $50K
He tells me “This is what I made for that job.”
A job that took him only a few hours
As if this will impress me
As if this will make me stay
Though he is not supposed to know I am leaving
He tries to initiate sex
But I deflect, saying folk just outside the door
I look at him then
Admiring his beautiful body, muscular and trim
His waist spectacularly narrow and defined
And I say to him
“My, how good you look
Are you still going to the gym then?”
Cause for some reason I did not know
The answer
When I know that if he were alive
He was, of course, going to the gym
His identity and all
I question why I am leaving him
This beautiful man
But I remember the donkey and head outside
I approach the downed donkey and
See she is still alive
I untangle her from the wreckage
She jumps up and begins to run once again
Dragging one piece of her harness with her
I chase after her
Trying to free her from that harness
But she wants it and fights me
Like a dog with a favorite chew toy
So I let her go, watching her run
Awkwardly down the road with that harness
Dropping it and turning to pick it back up
With her donkey teeth over and over
She is a donkey
I know she is a donkey
So why does she look like a soft toy
Stuffed with cooked pasta
Made by the silly blond woman on
The Vicar of Dibley?