My First Time
by Leslie Shalduha
Open your mouth and close your eyes
Trust me, he said
As her eyes closed tightly
She wondered what delight was soon to come
A moment passes before
She senses him near
No sooner does the fungus touch her tongue
Deep in the back of her mouth
Than she spits it out
tears and snot flying
She wanted her first time to be special
Wandering in the woods
She wanted to harvest one herself
Feel the excitement of discovery
She wanted her first time to be meaningful
The scene set just right
Perhaps low lighting and jazzy tunes
Instead she found herself huge, hugely pregnant
Sick, unable to breathe while lying down
Her partner bustles around the kitchen
Preparing a meal with love and intention
for the soon to be mother of his child
He knows she will love it
The fungus he has so loving prepared
He wants to surprise her with joy
He is shocked instead, to find himself
Face to face with a hysterical pregnant woman
Tears and snot flying
It is not the end of the world
Tho for a woman in this state
It feels like it is