Menopausian Journey, Part 5
by Leslie Shalduha
My Burnt & Mummified Oral Mucosa
Despite the salvation of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) resolving most of my menopausal symptoms, one continues to linger that is quite disruptive.
Perhaps one can imagine the excruciating pain that follows a slurp of too hot soup or the immediate regret following a sip of scalding hot tea on one’s tongue; now, imagine that feeling all day, every day.
About two months into this uncomfortable experience, the burning reached my throat. I spent a week treating a sore throat with my usual homeopathic treatments. Both of these treatments usually get to work right away so I was surprised to find no relief. Off I went to the local urgent care where they tested for the usual suspects, covid/rsv/flu. When those tests all came back negative, I might be forgiven as the hysteria began to creep in that my congestive heart failure was making a comeback; twenty years before, a sore throat had been the beginning of that hellish experience.
As per usual, it took way too long to understand what was happening to me. It was at the Seattle airport during a long layover that my mind finally made the connection that the Burning Tongue, that tricky devil, had progressed and was now affecting my throat. With each swallow, I felt shards of broken glass shift in my throat. I did, ultimately, find some relief with those cough drops that have oral anesthetic in the center. This, a damned if you do, damned if you do not antidote; apparently one must suffer the ridiculous amount of “bad guy” ingredients found in most cough drops to get to the oral anesthetic center that dulled the glass shards in my throat for short periods of time. Sort of like “how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop,” scene – anyone out there remember that? Pardon me, I digress.
Eventually, I began to research on the ole’ internet for answers to my pain and discomfort; as we all do, I think – find some answers on the internet and hope beyond hope that our information will help the medicals take us more seriously.
Imagine my surprise, then to find that yes, Burning Mouth Syndrome is a thing. It disproportionately affects women of a certain age, say, menopausal. No, of course there is no defined link to menopause; as we are informed, it is simply a coincidence. It is possible to have absolutely no connection to what you are eating, drinking or smoking – hence one spends hours or weeks drilling into the minutiae of every single thing entering one’s mouth, to no relief. It is also possible, unfortunately, to be an indicator of a much more serious problem. For me, I am putting all my hopes in the “it is just menopause” basket.
I also experience dry mouth, not something I had hitherto experienced. When I say dry mouth, I mean Dry Mouth. The constant sugar overload and “bad guy” ingredients from cough drop after hard candy all day, every day, was not a pleasant experience. For months, I searched stores and the internet for a cough drop that was not primarily made of sugar – not an easy task, I assure you. Ultimately, I did find one made of honey that were not awful. As I traveled around, lugging my jars of cough drops, popping them like they were going out of style, a family member inquired about it - like, had I considered that I might be addicted? The judgment, sometimes posed as “help,” that family and friends offer is always a delightful addition to these ridiculous perimenopause symptoms and the crutches we must haul along with us, all day, every day, to find some semblance of comfort.
In time, I discovered an herbal infusion of marshmallow root and linden flower contain mucilaginous properties that offer some relief from both the burning and dry mouth. I sip this mixture on ice all day, every day, cooling and soothing my burnt and mummified oral mucosa. This infusion is both easy to make and inexpensive. At first the taste was something I had to get accustomed to; however, the benefits I experience from my mouth all the way through digestion and bowel movements are spectacular. I have come to love this delightful infusion, one that a visiting house guest has termed “thick juice,” as he has also come to love the benefits.
Another joy of dry mouth is parched (think cracked, dry desert floors) lips. I pursued to the ends of the earth something, anything, that would offer some relief. Lip balms, chapstick and the like are not products I often use; being blessed, I suppose, with naturally moist lips. (Not a sentence I ever dreamed of writing). As an herbalist, I make incredibly nourishing salves and balms that should have offered relief. Over time I realized that the essential oils in some of my salves were most likely irritating so I switched to my most basic salve, with only honey, beeswax and olive oil; even this did not give me relief. In desperation, I finally turned to that tricky ole’ internet, to skim over generic information for any lead; here I discovered that raw honey could be helpful. For a little while, spreading that thick, tasty mess on my lips was very helpful. However, it is not like one can wander around town with honey smeared across one’s face on the regular. The one miraculous product that finally brought relief is a homemade whipped beef tallow cream, given as a gift to my daughter. This one product has been an absolute lipsaver and I am thankful it found us.
So, all this to say – I had no idea that menopause also affects our dental health. I mean, of course it does. I see all of this nonsense so differently now. But as I went, indeed go, through it, I have been so ignorant of what my body was doing and did not even know who, what or where to ask questions. It is outrageous, the lack of information, that we women have about our own damn bodies.
This study gives a very official and clear overview of what I share here today. A quick scroll through information shows that the dental field has begun to pay attention and offer specific care to menopausal women. Good news, of course, but where for art thou, these dentals* who are in the know, providing helpful support to us menopausists?
In my experience, no dentist has ever spoken to me about how menopause is affecting my dental health, even as it has dramatically decreased. At each dental visit, the dentist measures how my gum line has regressed from the last visit, muttering numbers to his assistant – 1, 3, 2, 2, 3. These numbers are written diligently down in my chart where they wait to be joined by the next set. They are not translated into Leslie speak, no advice is given and certainly no discussion of menopause comes up.
After making an unfortunate decision to get a couple of dental implants years ago, I have to floss extra often around one of the implants. Each bite I take compacts the food into the large space between my real tooth and the implant, causing an ache that does not quit until I remove the debris with floss. This was irritating enough in its own right until a fresh new hell began…….suddenly, spaces, invisible to the naked eye, offer my dining companions a display of everything I am consuming, each time I smile or speak. As I flee to the bathroom at the end of each meal to floss, I try and tell myself what a good girl I am to floss so regularly!
Let me not forget to mention the bad breath. Technically, as an off and on again smoker for most of my life, bad breath is not a new problem. I am fairly aware of my breath – aren’t we all? At any rate, this is different than one’s average, every day variety of bad breath. Luckily, I brush my teeth eighteen times a day, trying to remove the bits of debris left from nourishing my body with food. Sometimes, though, the taste and smell of fuel that I experience gives me pause. This is something that appears to come from way down deep, from the depths of my bowel.
Oh, I know. It can be hard to imagine or difficult to hear what we menopausists are experiencing. Imagine how it feels to live it! This is the thing about menopause and what we women are experiencing, though, is it not? Some might feel it inappropriate to share the quiet parts out loud. Well, I hate to break it to them. We are talking now, and we are going to continue to talk. This is how awareness is raised, this is how other women find out what we are experiencing is common, we are not going crazy as we are gaslit by the medicals and dentals. Our symptoms and experiences are valid and real. It is time, far past time, for us menopausists to be better understood and supported. Without us old ladies, the world will become a dark and scary place. Ya’ll need us.